Becca’s Cyber Home

Monday Madness has had a short hiatus because, well, I’ve been busy! Imagine that. Today’s MM comes to us courtesy of Nathan, the King of Obscure Internet Kookiness.

Way back, not long after we started living together, Nathan decided to help me learn how to get rid of telemarketers (these were the days pre-National Do Not Call list). See, my momma taught me to be polite on the phone. From the time I was in grade school, if I called my friends, I asked, “May I speak to …?” My friends’ parents probably thought I was a little strange, but oh well. Anyway, with that basic telephone courtesy comes the fear of hanging up on people. I just can’t do it! So, I’d sit and listen patiently while the telemarketers barrelled through their shpiel. I’d wait for the pause that never came so I could politely decline their services and bid them a nice evening.

Apparently Nathan thought that was just ridiculous–he’d tell me that if I didn’t want to talk to them, I should just hang up the phone! Nope, I just couldn’t do it!

One fateful night, an unsuspecting telemarketer called to peddle his wares. And once again, I sat while he launched into his shpiel. I must’ve rolled my eyes, because Nathan clued in that I was being held hostage by the telemarketer script. So Nathan walks to within a few feet of me, takes a deep breath, and hollers.

“WOMAN!” In a deep, throaty tone. Think drunk scruffy redneck in a beer-stained white wife-beater muscle shirt.

“Woman! Don’t make me come over there! I thought I TOLD you to get off that damned phone!”

Although that makes me giggle now, I was speechless. And, apparently, so was the telemarketer, because I hear a couple of heartbeats of silence and then CLICK.

So that was Nathan’s way of helping me get rid of the dreaded telemarketer. But I found an even better way this evening. Click here and take a gander at how this guy gets rid of telemarketers.