Every once in a while, a pet owner and pet have a fundamental difference in opinion. For instance, Owner believes 5 am to be a great time for sleeping. But Pet believes that 5 am is a fantastic time for running around the house like a demon on Crack. Owner believes that jumping on the table at Thanksgiving to slurp up turkey juice is inappropriate. But Pet believes that the prospect of fresh turkey juice is the perfect reason to completely abandon any semblance of couth.
Well, my sister (Owner) and her kitties (Pets) recently had one of these fundamental differences of opinion. I put forth for your consideration Exhibit A: “Christmas Tree - Before.”
Awwwww… That’s nice, isn’t it? I now enter into evidence Exhibit B: “Christmas Tree - After.”
For the record, Owner has stipulated that only one ornament remained at the very top of the tree. Although the evidence of a heinous Christmas Tree attack is overwhelming, Pets must be found Not Guilty by Reason of Cuteness. (Well, in Jasper’s case, an Insanity plea might also be appropriate.)
I only wish my husband and I could geek out this much. Today’s Monday Madness celebrates the holiday season. So crank up your speaker volume and enjoy the show.
I just finished reading Jodi Picoult’s book called My Sister’s Keeper
. It came highly recommended from my mom, so I picked it up expecting a fantastic book. I was mostly not disappointed.
It’s about a family whose daughter is diagnosed with a relatively rare but aggressive form of leukemia. One of the best treatments options requires a perfect match. The doctor tells them that no current sibling provides the proper match. So we discover that the parents decide to have another baby, but since they don’t have time to try a couple of times and see if their new baby provides the right match, they visit a genetic specialist. They pick the embryo that provides the perfect match and implant it through invitro fertilization. As soon as the baby is born, its umbilical cord is whisked away to provide the much-needed cells for the ailing older sister. All is well until the older sister relapses and the baby, Anna, is brought to the rescue. This goes on for years. Finally, when Anna is 13 she files for medical emancipation so she won’t be forced to donate a kidney to her sister. This is where the meat of the story starts.
I enjoyed Picoult’s writing, and with the topic, I expected to be sucked in to the story right away. But it was more like being dragged on a freight train that barreled forward without regard for boundaries or speed limits. Don’t get me wrong, as a reader I could’ve let go, but I opted to cling to it white-knuckled the entire way. Which is why I was so disappointed at the end. The destination was so wholly unfulfilling that I was left wondering, “why did I hold on so tightly for this?” In fact, my response was literally an angry, “What a chicksh*t ending!”
I still recommend the book. Picoult guides us through the story, allowing us to hear the voices of each member of the family and legal team. And it forces us to wonder if we’d do the same if we were in that situation. The marvels of modern medicine have yet to cure cancer, but we are now able to find interesting workarounds in order to find treatments. Is there a difference between what’s right and what’s ethical? Between what’s legal and moral?
I’ve decided to start a blogging tradition, so from now on, every Monday I’ll post something funny or quirky. Just a little something for a laugh. This new tradition shall be dubbed Monday Madness. For the inaugural Monday Madness, I offer a sample of workplace humor. There are few things we can truly control at work–our sense of humor is one of them. And some people, like me, use humor as a coping mechanism. When the vending machine on our floor kept running out of my favorite drink, I decided a Dilbert moment was appropriate. I give you (da da-da-da!): Mr. Vending Machine Man.
Dear Mr. Vending Machine Man,
I’m a Diet Dr. Pepper drinker and proud of it. No sugar-filled bubbly syrup for me, thank you very much!
For many months, I and my colleagues who also prefer Diet DP were frustrated at how quickly our supplies dwindled. It’s such a disappointment to see the words SOLD OUT scroll by mockingly, when all you want is 12 ounces of pure Diet DP refreshment.
You can imagine my delight when I discovered that another slot for Diet DP was added to our beloved soda vending machine. Now we Diet DP drinkers wouldn’t have to battle for rights to that last Diet DP can in the box. We were almost assured of a constant supply of our most favored beverage.
Now you can perhaps imagine my shock and dismay when I recently selected a Diet DP and was given a regular Dr. Pepper instead. And there’s the other Diet DP slot, once again mocking with its message of SOLD OUT! It makes me want to huddle under my desk and weep.
Please, Mr. Vending Machine Man, heal this wound and give me back my second Diet DP tab!
Yours truly,
Disheartened, but Hopeful, Diet DP Drinker
I wasn’t sure how people would react, but soon little notes of support and additional requests started appearing on my poster. I spied people milling around the soda machine saying, “Man, that totally reminds me of a Dilbert thing!” Soon people started asking, “Did you see that sign on the soda machine? Pretty funny. Wonder who put it there?” I was even happier to have a chance to watch the vending machine guy restock the machine. He walked in and saw the sign on the machine, put down all of his stuff and read it. Then he just scratched his head and walked away mumbling. Mission accomplished!
We passed a vet clinic sign today that said, “Winterize your pet.”
What!? Is it that time of year already?! Time to flush out your pet’s system and replace the liquids. Seal up those cracks.
Seriously, how does one winterize one’s pet?
Recent Comments