For the last month, I’ve had a running mental list of “Reasons why Becca is a bad friend.”
In May, I visited Seattle for a conference and got so busy with the conference that I didn’t call Scott. And I haven’t even apologized to him yet. That makes me a bad friend!
I forgot to send Ali a Mother’s Day card. She’d tell me that’s not my job, but it is. So that makes me a bad friend!
I haven’t sent birthday cards to my friends the last few months, which means that Nancy, Amy, and Alyssa didn’t get happy birthday wishes from me (and that’s just a few June birthdays!). Bad Becca!
I’ve all but lost touch with several friends, and every time I think of writing or calling, I put it off until later. Which, of course, means it hasn’t happened yet! *sigh* Spot a trend?
Over the last few weeks, as this Bad Friend List has run through my head, I’ve discovered that I’ve been an Absentee Friend for much too long. Heck, in many ways, I’ve been absent from my life, just trying to slog through all of the demands I put on myself (work, volunteer activities, and school).
Graduating from high school is obviously a big milestone for all of us, but one of the things I remember most vividly is the sense of loss I felt as I gradually lost touch with friends I had kept throughout my grade school years. I was lamenting that fact with my mom once and she told me something that has stuck with me all the years since.
Mom told me that friends aren’t automatically life-long. Some friends are meant to be with us for a short time, some friends for a long time, and some friends are meant to come and go. But no matter how long we know them, or how often we see or talk to them, they are in our lives for a reason. They are in our lives when we need them for as long as we need them. Some friendships might help guide us through a certain experience, and some friendships might last forever. But no matter whether the friend is short-term or life-long, they are forever a part of who we are.
I think that’s what makes me sad about being the Absentee Friend. In some cases, there have been circumstances that caused a rift or communication barrier, but even so, there are several people I’ve lost touch with who are a part of me. I knew vaguely then, but especially know now, that their presence shaped me into the person I am today. And when I think about the person that I am today from that perspective, I’m prouder than I can express because it’s a testament to the wonderful people they are.
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