Becca’s Cyber Home

Imagine, if you will, spending a quiet evening with your husband in front of the TV. In my house, quality time often means me tossing all dignity aside and allowing my husband to demonstrate his utter dominance in the realm of his latest video game (in this case, Halo 2). I don’t mind it so much. After all, it’s only a video game.

So, a few nights ago, we’re sitting in our loft playing Halo 2, giddy in love (because doesn’t everyone classify Halo 2 as quality time with their spouse?!). Nathan, of course, is totally kicking butt, and I’m just wandering around the Halo map like a dog who lost his bone.

This is a knock-’em-down, shoot-’em-up, and shoot-’em-up-again kinda game, so gunfire erupts in our living room every 10 seconds. Every once in a while, though, I do manage to score. To my left, an all-terrain vehicle speeds into action, and I can hear its wheels cruching over the dirt and rocks of the Halo world. To my right, a grenade just exploded, momentarily stunning my Halo character.

And, suddenly, the game is over. I look up in a daze, and Nathan reassures me that it’s all over. Reviewing the score, I see our team of four scored 18, 16, 14, and 1. You can guess who scored 1, I think.

I whine, “Honey, when am I going to get better at this?! I totally suck!”

Then, over the game communication system, what HAS to be a 12-year old screams out, “Zappper1, you suck! I mean, you REALLY suck! GO HOME! I can’t believe you think you can play this game! Zappper, you’re OK, man. But Zappper1, you REALLY SUCK! Go bob for apples or something.” Nathan and I look at each other, not quite sure where to start. So we giggle.

“Bob for apples?!?!” I say. “What kind of insult is that?!”

Nathan consoles me, “Nah, just tune it out. Don’t listen to those twerps trash talking. They do it all the time.”

“Yeah,” I say, “But ‘bob for apples’? That’s just stupid.” I pause. “Nathan, I understand if you don’t want to play online with me anymore. I really do suck, and I don’t want you to earn a bad rep!”

Nathan just looks at me (laughing on the inside, I just know it!), and says, “Honey, I think my reputation is safe with the 12 year olds.”